Tuesday, April 22, 2008; 9:17 pm by Not Suzi.

Reading back over my previous post I find it kinda ironic that I thought I had hit a limit of sorts. Needless to say, I had no idea what life had in store for me.

To give you some background, in early December Lomee had started drinking heavily (in secret) to deal with emotional issues related to his family. After 2 months of begging him to get help and going through a version of hell I never expected to experience, I finally left him mid-February. I could not see myself continuing to live in the life he was choosing and I felt as long as I was around to clean up the mess, he would never stop and/or get help on his own. I didn’t stop loving him; I was removing myself from a seriously bad situation. I could go into the details but they are pretty ugly. I’m sure you can draw your own conclusions and you may not be far from the truth. I was trying to be a loving, supportive wife at the risk of losing my own sanity. Needless to say, it was difficult for me to objectively look at the situation I was in, so after much discussion with family and friends I returned to Chicago.

Those 2 or so months when he was drinking were so opposite from what we had been living the previous 5. I felt blindsided and had no clue what to do or how to react. It was so stressful trying to pretend everything was fine when I was at work or talking to family, but having this feeling of unease about what was going on in my personal life with my husband. I’d drive home from work crying, wondering what was waiting for me when I got home.

He stopped coming to bed to sleep, claiming insomnia and needing time alone. When I started find empty vodka bottles I figured out he was staying up all night drinking and passing out in his recliner. I started searching around and would find some with booze in them. I’d dump them out if I felt like fighting or fill them with water if I was too exhausted from trying to make him see what was happening to us. When I’d confront him we would have a huge fight with it always ending up with him promising to quit.

He was unmotivated: stopped cooking, started going into work later and leaving earlier, stopped playing guitar, gave up showering on weekends, watched DVDs for hours and days on end. So, he didn’t stop drinking…just tried hiding it better but the signs were easy to see once I knew what to look for. After a huge blow-up and my meeting with a therapist only to hear what I already knew, I started talking more with my sister about what was happening. On Valentine’s Day when I had made plans for us, he decided not to come home from work and went out with a friend. He didn’t come home for 2 days. My sisters and family were down there that Saturday to pack my stuff and head to Chicago.

I spoke at length with Lomee over the next week. He had stopped drinking (for the moment) and was depressed because he had a meeting with his work with the result being that he was to go into the EAP program and get well or it would cost him his job. He accepted these terms, however rejected every offer of help in order for him to keep his therapy appointments. He canceled and rescheduled 3 appointments over the next 4 days, never making any of them. Ultimately, they ended up terminating him because of this.

We discussed him finding a new job and us reconciling once he was in a better place. He had a couple leads from friends on jobs in other parts of the country and was talking to a head hunter. He seemed down but was level-headed and motivated. He wasn’t feeling well and said he was going to get some rest and would talk to me later. I wasn’t able to reach him the rest of the day and night so the next day I had the police do a well visit check. He was home and said he knew I was trying to reach him but he wanted to be alone and would call me later.

I didn’t talk to him for a few days and was getting worried so I had a neighbor go over and check on him. The neighbor couldn’t get an answer to his knocks, noticed the mail piling up and called the police. I received a call later that afternoon from his sister saying that the police were able to get into the house and they found him dead at the bottom of the stairs. It looked like he had started throwing up blood at the top of the stairs and collapsed, sliding down to the bottom. The cause of death was cardiopulmonary arrest due to diabetes and pancreatitis.

I was instantly dropped into a state of surreality that continued for quite a few weeks. I went back to our home to handle a minutia of tasks that I never expected to have to deal with. So many friends and family members helped me along the way: taking me to the airport, paying for my ticket, picking me up and making a 2 hour drive to our town, giving me a place to stay so I didn’t have to stay at the house where he died, opening their workplace to me so I would have somewhere to make calls and send faxes from. My close friend Dana flew in from Chicago for a couple days to not only be with me but also help out with packing and the many phone calls that needed to be made, thereby making my life a little easier which allowed me to start grieving in a place where I felt safe and the comfort of a good friend. My mere words or actions cannot express the gratitude I have for the people that helped or offered assistance. I am eternally grateful for every prayer sent my way, not only during the immediate days after his passing but also continuing through today.

Lomee had many friends throughout is life that thought so highly of him, as he did them. He expressed many times how much he loved my family and was amazed by our closeness and the laughter we share so easily. He enjoyed watching movies about the triumph of the human spirit, which always left him in tears but didn’t stop him from watching them over and over again. You only had to look into those amazing blue eyes and listen to his soft southern voice to know his faith and see his dreams; they were both such an integral part of his very existence. Despite the problems he had, he was a very sweet man with a warm, loving heart and an extremely kind soul, a man I know that will be truly missed by many. He played a kick-ass guitar, had a brain like a computer, was damn near a chef in the kitchen and loved me more than I thought was ever possible.

Posted in Sadness, Life, My Sweetie | 1 Comment »

Monday, February 4, 2008; 10:30 pm by Not Suzi.

Well, I know I haven’t written in a few months. Things were nuts for a while but I’ll try to catch you up here.

NOVEMBER

• Got married in the beginning of November as you can read from the previous post.
• Had a death in the family and family from Chicago visiting.
• Went to a wine and tapas dinner with a few friends.
• Lomee made a delicious Thanksgiving dinner for just the 2 of us.
• Worked on another paper for class and submitted Chapter One for my independant research project.

DECEMBER

• Lomee’s holiday party was a blast. Very crowded though (about 1000 people).
• Finished up our church’s introductory class (finally) in order to become members.
• Went to see Little Big Town and Sugarland. Easily the best concert I’ve ever been to.
• Went to Chicago for 5 days over Christmas. Had fun, got to see some friends and family. Shopped at a couple stores I don’t have here.
• Got awesome gifts from family and my Lomee.
• Spent way too much but it was totally worth it to watch the kids (and Lomee!) open their gifts.
• Needed a vacation from Christmas; it was so exhausting. But I’m glad we went and saw everyone.
• Spent New Years Eve at home with Lomee. Lucked out and got a few more days off in a row.

JANUARY

• Beginning of the month was quiet. Still kinda warm here.
• Had my birthday mid-month. Lomee made me an awesome dinner.
• Had a bad sinus infection that I had been battling for a couple weeks. Went to the doctor to take care of that and he put me on Prednisone because I was so achy and inflamed. Allergies are killing me though, which is typical of this area of the US.
• Went to another wine and tapas dinner at the end of the month. Had a great time and delicious food.
• Lomee made a couple yummy dishes I got pictures of. Will post when I get a chance.
• Buddy (black Lab) had an ear infection and had to go to the Vet. He’s better now but I can’t believe how expensive Vets are. I wonder if pet insurance is worth it.
• Sat down with Lomee and worked out a budget and debt reduction plan for the next few months to a year. We are really working on substantially reducing our consumer debt by the end of the year. People that know me know that I hate to carry any consumer debt however, I realize at times it is necessary. So this will be a good thing.
• Lomee is working on a problem at work and his solution is getting the attention of some big-wigs in the organization. I’m proud of and happy for him. I love it when his work inspires and challenges him.
• I have car fever and really want a new one. Mine is about 5 years old and I don’t have any payments, which is nice but I’m really wanting a new one. Not needing, wanting. It’s really not practical right now but I’m hoping by year’s end it will happen. I had been wanting a VW Passat but after reading some not too good reviews, I don’t think I’ll be getting one. At Lomee’s urging I’m considering a BMW 3-series but think it may be too small. I’d really love a 5-series but it’s about $20K more than I want to spend, even for a used one. However, I do like the Infiniti G35 and M. So, we’ll see.

I have more papers and chapters due for school and I’m just trying to wait it out. I graduate in 8 months if I can stay on track. Hopefully there will be a great job in my field waiting for me then (the job market here is great if you’re in an engineering or technical field; not so great if you aren’t).

I’m seriously considering Lasik as my eyes are driving me nuts. Ever since I changed my contacts last summer they have felt dry and itchy. The left one always feels like it doesn’t fit right or there is something in it. The doctor can’t find anything wrong. I’m slowly going insane.

We have to do our taxes or find someone to do them. Lomee has always done his and I’ve had an accountant do mine in the past because of owning my own business. I’ve used Turbo Tax the past 2 years but I’m not sure if I want to go that route this year as there was a lot of changes last year: selling my house, moving, Lomee buying a house, starting school, getting married.

That’s about it. I’ll try to do better with blogging. I just hate to write stuff for the sake of writing; I always feel like its un-interesting. It’s really not much different than what is going on in anyone else’s life. I wish I could be one of those bloggers that could tell stories about their life or pontificate on a subject and have it be relevant and interesting. I think about how certain situations would be amusing or fun to blog about but then I don’t follow through. I suppose I could write about things in my life that many people don’t really know about me or haven’t considered. It may be easier to give you some history about myself so you can better understand me and my thoughts. I don’t really know. It would probably be a bunch of boring shit that you don’t care about anyway.

Posted in doggie, Church, Chicago, Blog, Life, Marriage, My Sweetie, General | No Comments »

Wednesday, September 19, 2007; 11:11 pm by Not Suzi.

I actually have some talent when it comes to the kitchen but I don’t enjoy cooking like Lomee does. That being said, we were putzing around in the kitchen this past Saturday and I decided to make a couple pots of soup for the upcoming week. Since I’m avoiding my triggers I made them without certain ingredients and spices I love and would have usually used.

Every week or so we make a batch of chicken salad for Lomee to take for work for a few days so I had a huge pot of chicken stock. It was very concentrated because 3 chickens had been cooked in it so it would make an excellent base.

The first soup I made was a Mexican style chicken soup. Some lime juice, peppers, and cilantro with veggies and chicken…for his bowl, Lomee even cut up a few avocado slices and topped it with sour cream. I have to avoid things like dairy, garlic and tomatoes but the soup was still delicious.

The other batch was a simple bean soup with about 12 different beans, onion and ham. I used the same stock as a base but added different spices.

We were watching TV Sunday night and happened to flip by HSN and saw Emeril promoting some of his products. For years Lomee has been interested in the Emerilware and we’ve been planning on getting them one day, but they are a bit pricey. HSN had the 10-piece set at an excellent price AND they were also throwing in Emeril’s a cast iron grill pan and a Wusthof 10″ chef knife for no extra charge, plus free shipping. A great deal and one we couldn’t pass up. Very cool.

I have some decent pot and pans that I got about 12 years ago but I split the set with my ex-hubby when we divorced. They have a non-stick coating and I’ve never really felt was healthy and I’ve always wanted something different. They also have plastic handles so you can’t put them in the oven…not really great for someone that loves to cook like Lomee.

I got an email this morning saying they shipped and would be delivered within 7-10 days but I was shocked when the doorbell rang and the UPS guy was delivering my box of pots. It was a nice surprise for Lomee when he got home from work. He’s like a kid on Christmas morning and can’t wait to make our first meal with them. Menu planning and grocery shopping just got more fun.

Posted in Food, Life, My Sweetie | 1 Comment »

Monday, September 10, 2007; 8:54 pm by Not Suzi.

I slept in Sunday morning and when I got up it was closer to lunchtime than breakfast so Lomee decided to make us a meal. And it was delicious!!

Greek Pitas with pork, cucumbers, lettuce, tomatoes and a honey/tahini sauce.

Later that night we were watching Throwdown with Bobby Flay and he was challenging a woman who is known for her macaroni and cheese. It looked so good and made us both start craving it. So, at 10 p.m. Lomee is in the kitchen grating cheese and boiling noodles. YUM! A great late night snack and food for lunch on Monday (and probably Tuesday as well)…Lomee’s Mac-n-cheese.

We did go out to a Thai restaurant that we like for dinner but were quite unsatisfied with the meal. We’ve discovered that we can truly eat better at home especially with Lomee’s culinary talents.

Posted in Food, My Sweetie, Weekend | No Comments »

Friday, September 7, 2007; 9:31 pm by Not Suzi.

Did I ever mention that Lomee is an excellent cook? He loves coming home and making us dinner. Look at our meal menu from a few weeks ago:

Monday: Thick-cut Southwestern Grilled Pork Loin Chops with Roasted New Potatoes and Aromatic-Steamed Vegetables.

Tuesday: Fresh BLT’s. Hickory-Smoked Crispy Slab Bacon on Fresh Toasted Wheat Bread with Romaine, Lettuce, Vidalia Onions, Vine-ripened Tomatoes, and Sharp Cheddar Cheese dressed with Garlic Aioli. Served with Prosciutto-wrapped Honeydew Melon.

Wednesday: Flat-Iron Steaks with Burgundy Onions. Served alongside a custom Cobb Salad plate holding grated sharp Sun-dried Tomato Cheddar, Sliced Vine-ripened Tomatoes, Romaine lettuce, Vidalia onions, Diced celery, Roasted Edamame, Kalamata Olives, and Hickory-Smoked Crispy Slab Bacon. Served with choice Greek Feta vinaigrette dressing.

Thursday: Thick Cut Grilled Pork-Loin Chops (marinated in Merlot, Garlic, Creole Mustard, and spices). Served with fresh salad of crunchy vegetables centered with a roasted Green Bell Pepper stuffed with fresh cottage cheese, bleu cheese, vine-ripened tomatoes, Vidalia onions, and fresh cucumber.

Friday: Fire-grilled New York Strips with Grilled Asparagus and Grilled Portabello Mushrooms with Crabcake stuffing.

Saturday: Date-night. Likely going to Mikawa for authentic Okinawan sushi rolls (Lomee will be smoking barbecue all day Saturday into the night…)

Sunday: Lomee’s Soon-2-B-Legendary Big Orange Hickory Barbecue: 3-stage chili-rubbed baby-back ribs, 10-spice rubbed pulled pork shoulder, cider-marinated & chili-rubbed beef brisket.

And this is how it is most nights. Sometimes its simpler or we go out for dinner (usually about once per week) but what Lomee makes is much better than we can buy in most restaurants, and less expensive too.

Check out these pictures of a few meals he has made recently:

Falso Magro
(stuffed meat roll)

Barbecue ribs

Grinder

Grilled corn & kabobs
(basil, garlic, parmesan butter; Beef, pork, veggies)

Bruschetta Pizza’s
(Spinach, artichoke, garlic, parmesan; Sopressata, mozzarella)

Hungry yet?

Posted in Food, Life, My Sweetie | No Comments »

Tuesday, September 4, 2007; 9:34 pm by Not Suzi.

I thought Lomee was going to poop a noodle last night when he looked down and saw this sitting on his arm:

He screeched and threw it into the floor while doing the freaked-out, shimmy dance and yelling at the dogs to “Get it! Get it!”. The dogs were looking at him like “No fuckin’ way.”

Guess who came to the rescue?  Me.   And a shoe.

There are some interesting critters that live around here.

Posted in doggie, Life, My Sweetie, The Boys | No Comments »

Friday, August 10, 2007; 1:23 pm by Not Suzi.

This is a post from my old RR blog that I wanted to transfer but need to make it “private” due to personally identifiable information.

Enjoy the re-read if you want.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Life, doggie, My Sweetie, The Boys, Old Blog, Relocating, Password | No Comments »

Thursday, May 10, 2007; 6:29 pm by Not Suzi.

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Thursday, April 12, 2007; 10:38 pm by Not Suzi.

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Wednesday, December 6, 2006; 6:24 am by Not Suzi.

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