Sunday, February 17, 2008; 12:00 am by Not Suzi.

Well, OK. Maybe I’m not actually a blatant liar, but I have lied by omission. My life is a mess. I’m going through a serious life transition right now. I went into something trusting and loving with an open heart, giving all I had the best I knew how and now I am paying the price.

I’m a pretty strong person and good at moving on and leaving emotional baggage behind. I’ll be fine. I’ll have some scars though but nothing too bad. Just a reminder of how good and bad it was at one time. I’m both surprised and blessed at the number of people that care for me and want to help. Friends, family, acquaintances…its good to know that I have a support system when I really need one. I’m usually the one helping and wanting to save someone. It’s hard for me to ask for help but its a relief to know it’s really there and I can let someone take care of me when I’m vulnerable.

Maybe I’ll go into more details at a later date but I can’t right now as I’m feeling kinda raw and emotional. I’m hurt, disappointed and angry and life is kinda surreal right now. I need to get to a place where I can start to heal. In this past year there has been an unbelievable amount of stress on me. You know when you say you’re reaching your limit? Well, I’ve found mine and it is not a place I ever want to visit again.

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Monday, February 4, 2008; 10:30 pm by Not Suzi.

Well, I know I haven’t written in a few months. Things were nuts for a while but I’ll try to catch you up here.

NOVEMBER

• Got married in the beginning of November as you can read from the previous post.
• Had a death in the family and family from Chicago visiting.
• Went to a wine and tapas dinner with a few friends.
• Lomee made a delicious Thanksgiving dinner for just the 2 of us.
• Worked on another paper for class and submitted Chapter One for my independant research project.

DECEMBER

• Lomee’s holiday party was a blast. Very crowded though (about 1000 people).
• Finished up our church’s introductory class (finally) in order to become members.
• Went to see Little Big Town and Sugarland. Easily the best concert I’ve ever been to.
• Went to Chicago for 5 days over Christmas. Had fun, got to see some friends and family. Shopped at a couple stores I don’t have here.
• Got awesome gifts from family and my Lomee.
• Spent way too much but it was totally worth it to watch the kids (and Lomee!) open their gifts.
• Needed a vacation from Christmas; it was so exhausting. But I’m glad we went and saw everyone.
• Spent New Years Eve at home with Lomee. Lucked out and got a few more days off in a row.

JANUARY

• Beginning of the month was quiet. Still kinda warm here.
• Had my birthday mid-month. Lomee made me an awesome dinner.
• Had a bad sinus infection that I had been battling for a couple weeks. Went to the doctor to take care of that and he put me on Prednisone because I was so achy and inflamed. Allergies are killing me though, which is typical of this area of the US.
• Went to another wine and tapas dinner at the end of the month. Had a great time and delicious food.
• Lomee made a couple yummy dishes I got pictures of. Will post when I get a chance.
• Buddy (black Lab) had an ear infection and had to go to the Vet. He’s better now but I can’t believe how expensive Vets are. I wonder if pet insurance is worth it.
• Sat down with Lomee and worked out a budget and debt reduction plan for the next few months to a year. We are really working on substantially reducing our consumer debt by the end of the year. People that know me know that I hate to carry any consumer debt however, I realize at times it is necessary. So this will be a good thing.
• Lomee is working on a problem at work and his solution is getting the attention of some big-wigs in the organization. I’m proud of and happy for him. I love it when his work inspires and challenges him.
• I have car fever and really want a new one. Mine is about 5 years old and I don’t have any payments, which is nice but I’m really wanting a new one. Not needing, wanting. It’s really not practical right now but I’m hoping by year’s end it will happen. I had been wanting a VW Passat but after reading some not too good reviews, I don’t think I’ll be getting one. At Lomee’s urging I’m considering a BMW 3-series but think it may be too small. I’d really love a 5-series but it’s about $20K more than I want to spend, even for a used one. However, I do like the Infiniti G35 and M. So, we’ll see.

I have more papers and chapters due for school and I’m just trying to wait it out. I graduate in 8 months if I can stay on track. Hopefully there will be a great job in my field waiting for me then (the job market here is great if you’re in an engineering or technical field; not so great if you aren’t).

I’m seriously considering Lasik as my eyes are driving me nuts. Ever since I changed my contacts last summer they have felt dry and itchy. The left one always feels like it doesn’t fit right or there is something in it. The doctor can’t find anything wrong. I’m slowly going insane.

We have to do our taxes or find someone to do them. Lomee has always done his and I’ve had an accountant do mine in the past because of owning my own business. I’ve used Turbo Tax the past 2 years but I’m not sure if I want to go that route this year as there was a lot of changes last year: selling my house, moving, Lomee buying a house, starting school, getting married.

That’s about it. I’ll try to do better with blogging. I just hate to write stuff for the sake of writing; I always feel like its un-interesting. It’s really not much different than what is going on in anyone else’s life. I wish I could be one of those bloggers that could tell stories about their life or pontificate on a subject and have it be relevant and interesting. I think about how certain situations would be amusing or fun to blog about but then I don’t follow through. I suppose I could write about things in my life that many people don’t really know about me or haven’t considered. It may be easier to give you some history about myself so you can better understand me and my thoughts. I don’t really know. It would probably be a bunch of boring shit that you don’t care about anyway.

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